if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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