dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Success! We fucked roommates!
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