I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Randomize
