There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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