I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
