you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Randomize
