Apparently you make a good broom.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
