I puked a lego.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
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