so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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