Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Randomize
