Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
