You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
false alarm, still single
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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