Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
