What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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