that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
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