By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
