It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
