Small penises have feelings too.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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