Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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