I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
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