Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
We got so high we made milksteak
the day after is always just damage control
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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