No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
