ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
