who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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