Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
