He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
