I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
