If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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