She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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