We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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