Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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