I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
