i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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