fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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