She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
We are two peas in an std pod
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
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