What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
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