I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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