I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
