Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
