You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
