What a fucking waste of an outfit
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Randomize
