My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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