are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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