Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize