eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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