Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
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