yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
