My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
