Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Randomize