After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
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