marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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