its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
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