i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
You're a waste of cheezeits
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
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