Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
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