you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
