He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Randomize
