OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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