This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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