It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize
