Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize