I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
