She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
