You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
