Screwed.edu
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
So squirting runs in the family.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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