You smell like a Billy Joel song
Banned from zoo.
Again?
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
