Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize