I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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