when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
