You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
