My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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