Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Randomize
