Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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