I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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