porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
