White coat. Heels.
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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